Today is one year...

It is hard to believe that it has already been a year. Lord knows how many times this has been said in the last couple of weeks. July 26th marks the saddest day in many of our lives; when Barry lost his battle to cancer. As I write this, I think about my last hug, the last “I love you”, and the last smile. I remember when I walked into the bedroom to tell him that we all love him, that we would be okay, and that he could leave us. I have to admit that I lied; it wasn’t okay for him to leave us, we miss him terribly. But I am convinced that he needed to hear that before he would, as he himself would say, “Let go and Let God.”

It is amazing what can happen in a year and how much has changed. There isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t think about him. There have been many times when I go to call him on the phone. If anyone has the number to heaven, please share it with us. Although we miss him everyday, the holidays have been the most difficult. We have faced Thanksgiving, Christmas, Birthdays, Father’s Days, Anniversaries…the list goes on, but all have been difficult. I am so thankful for my family during these times. We are always there for one another. Even though dad isn’t there to give us that famous hug; I know that he is always with us.

Staci and I were talking and she told me that she is afraid of forgetting. Forgetting his hugs, his laugh, or that he had so much grey hair. He had the 3 of us for children, he was lucky that all we gave him was grey hair. I tried to comfort her and tell her that we would never forget. If I am an old man and I hear that unique laugh, I will instantly turn around expecting dad to be standing there. I can’t forget his hugs, because those are the hugs that I give today. But most importantly is that we will raise our children with the same love, compassion, and determination that he and Mom have instilled in us. That is how he lives on…that is how we remember.

Many of us will remember Barry differently. Some may spend the weekend working on his boat, others may watch the videos from his service, you may look to the full moon and say good night to him, you might take a trip to the beach, or help a stranger change a flat tire. Whatever you do to remember, know that he is with you always.

4 days before Dad passed away, Hope Hospice taped an interview with Dad. It is hard to watch at times, but in it he says, “Never forget the play time.” I think that this is how he lived life. He remembered to make time for fun. It didn’t have to be grand or expensive. Play time could include a trip to the park or an afternoon of making peanut butter with the grandkids or simply a BBQ with the family at home.

We once again thank everyone for all of their love, help, and prayers over the last year and a half. Your love and kindness exemplifies what we all know to be true in the man we all love and miss so much. Our hearts and thoughts go out to all of those who may be fighting the same fight that we struggled with last year.

We love you Dad and miss you more than words could possibly express!