It is hard to believe that it has already been a year. Lord knows how many times this has been said in the last couple of weeks. July 26th marks the saddest day in many of our lives; when Barry lost his battle to cancer. As I write this, I think about my last hug, the last “I love you”, and the last smile. I remember when I walked into the bedroom to tell him that we all love him, that we would be okay, and that he could leave us. I have to admit that I lied; it wasn’t okay for him to leave us, we miss him terribly. But I am convinced that he needed to hear that before he would, as he himself would say, “Let go and Let God.”
It is amazing what can happen in a year and how much has changed. There isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t think about him. There have been many times when I go to call him on the phone. If anyone has the number to heaven, please share it with us. Although we miss him everyday, the holidays have been the most difficult. We have faced Thanksgiving, Christmas, Birthdays, Father’s Days, Anniversaries…the list goes on, but all have been difficult. I am so thankful for my family during these times. We are always there for one another. Even though dad isn’t there to give us that famous hug; I know that he is always with us.
Staci and I were talking and she told me that she is afraid of forgetting. Forgetting his hugs, his laugh, or that he had so much grey hair. He had the 3 of us for children, he was lucky that all we gave him was grey hair. I tried to comfort her and tell her that we would never forget. If I am an old man and I hear that unique laugh, I will instantly turn around expecting dad to be standing there. I can’t forget his hugs, because those are the hugs that I give today. But most importantly is that we will raise our children with the same love, compassion, and determination that he and Mom have instilled in us. That is how he lives on…that is how we remember.
Many of us will remember Barry differently. Some may spend the weekend working on his boat, others may watch the videos from his service, you may look to the full moon and say good night to him, you might take a trip to the beach, or help a stranger change a flat tire. Whatever you do to remember, know that he is with you always.
4 days before Dad passed away, Hope Hospice taped an interview with Dad. It is hard to watch at times, but in it he says, “Never forget the play time.” I think that this is how he lived life. He remembered to make time for fun. It didn’t have to be grand or expensive. Play time could include a trip to the park or an afternoon of making peanut butter with the grandkids or simply a BBQ with the family at home.
We once again thank everyone for all of their love, help, and prayers over the last year and a half. Your love and kindness exemplifies what we all know to be true in the man we all love and miss so much. Our hearts and thoughts go out to all of those who may be fighting the same fight that we struggled with last year.
We love you Dad and miss you more than words could possibly express!
Monday, July 26, 2010
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
Funeral Service Information
We have finalized the plans for Barry's funeral service. The funeral will be Thursday, August 6th and will begin at 11am. The service will be held at Trinity Church in Livermore. Their address is 557 Olivina Ave., Livermore. We remember it as the church by the Old Spaceship Park.
The service will be immediately followed by a reception in the church gymnasium. You will have the opportunity to leave notes for the family during the reception. If you have a special message or story that you would like to share during the funeral service, please email me directly glenriggslv@gmail.com so that we can try to accommodate everyone.
In lieu of flowers, please make a donation in Memory of Barry Riggs to Hope Hospice. They were truly instrumental in helping us through this process. You can donate on their website, HOPE HOSPICE and donation envelopes will be available at the service.
Thank you all again for your love and support!
The service will be immediately followed by a reception in the church gymnasium. You will have the opportunity to leave notes for the family during the reception. If you have a special message or story that you would like to share during the funeral service, please email me directly glenriggslv@gmail.com so that we can try to accommodate everyone.
In lieu of flowers, please make a donation in Memory of Barry Riggs to Hope Hospice. They were truly instrumental in helping us through this process. You can donate on their website, HOPE HOSPICE and donation envelopes will be available at the service.
Thank you all again for your love and support!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
He will be missed
It is with heavy hearts that we publish this entry this morning. Barry is no longer fighting cancer. He had a very rough week last week and a very trying weekend. He spent most of Friday and Saturday sharing smiles and laughter with all of us. We have seen more smiles in the last few days than in the last month. He passed away peacefully in his sleep very early Sunday morning.
We thank everyone for all of your prayers and thoughts as we gather ourselves over the next few days. I will post memorial service information when it is available.
Love The Barry Riggs Family
Monday, July 20, 2009
Speechless...
Speechless...we use that term a lot in our lives, but how many times have we actually felt that way? I mean REALLY been speechless? We usually manage to mutter something...I'm Sorry...I didn't know that...etc. But since we have been faced with battling this horrible disease, I find that I am speechless more and more.
Many times I am afraid if I talk, then the strength I am using to fight back the tears will disappear, and I will cry. Not that I am afraid to cry, it feels really good sometimes; I just know that crying is contagious and I don't want Dad to catch it. So, I usually just sit speechless, and he loves the company. Sometimes just holding his hand gives him great comfort. A smile and a wink from across the room will almost always result in a returned smile and wink. Saying, "I Love You" will always get the same phrase returned.
We have called in Hope Hospice after Barry spent 10 days in the hospital for the same lung procedure, this time on the right lung. He has fought a very strong battle and we are all so very proud of his strength. This was a decision that he made with the blessing of his wife, parents, children, and friends. What this means is that our focus has changed from fighting cancer to enjoying the time that remains. This means that nurses and aides come to the house. Trips to the doctors' offices are greatly reduced. We now switch from making him eat things to make him strong to letting him have ice cream for dinner. His time with us is limited. The cancer has begun to progress and we are making him as comfortable as possible with medication, oxygen, love, and laughter.
Visitors-We welcome visitors and telephone calls, but Barry isn't always up to either. We are now taking shifts at spending time with him all day. He is too weak to get out of bed by himself and needs help to just sit up. If you would like to visit, we ask that you call the day of. Please call the home number (925) 606-6352 and don't be offended if he doesn't feel like visitors. He spends most of the day laying in or on the bed in a t-shirt and boxer shorts...or less.
What to Say-Something to keep in mind is that Barry doesn't like to talk about cancer! Nobody REALLY likes to talk about cancer. Come prepared with a picture or a story that has fond memories for both of you. Talk about his kids! (That is my favorite topic!) Help him to remember times when he was healthy, strong, and laughed. There is nothing that makes me smile more than to see him smile. His laughs are harder to come by today, but even a giggle is enough to brighten the house for a whole day.
I can't even begin to describe how difficult it is to publish this posting. I have switched out the Relay slide show to the pictures of Dad throughout the years. In closing, I wanted to share a story with you.
I was sitting in the hospital last week when Dad was taking a nap. I was working at the foot of the bed. I noticed that his hands were moving as he slept and as I looked closer, his hands were busy. Not just the usual twitching and jerking, but he was really doing something. When he woke, I asked what he was working on in his sleep and he couldn't remember.
That night I awoke from a dream. In my dream I could see what Dad was dreaming...this was my superhero power...along with being able to see through some glass, but that is a different story. But I could see exactly what he was dreaming about. He was healthy and I was young. He had taken me out fishing on the banks of the Delta and I had gotten my fishing line tangled when I was trying to cast. His hands were so busy trying to untangle my fishing reel. All the while he was looking down at me and smiling. I felt bad that I had tangled the line, but he didn't seem the least bit bothered.
It gives me great comfort in knowing that these are the memories that I have of my Dad; even if fabricated in my own mind. I know that he will always look down at me with a smile and will always be there to untangle whatever mess I make.
I Love You All and Love You Dad!
Glen
Many times I am afraid if I talk, then the strength I am using to fight back the tears will disappear, and I will cry. Not that I am afraid to cry, it feels really good sometimes; I just know that crying is contagious and I don't want Dad to catch it. So, I usually just sit speechless, and he loves the company. Sometimes just holding his hand gives him great comfort. A smile and a wink from across the room will almost always result in a returned smile and wink. Saying, "I Love You" will always get the same phrase returned.
We have called in Hope Hospice after Barry spent 10 days in the hospital for the same lung procedure, this time on the right lung. He has fought a very strong battle and we are all so very proud of his strength. This was a decision that he made with the blessing of his wife, parents, children, and friends. What this means is that our focus has changed from fighting cancer to enjoying the time that remains. This means that nurses and aides come to the house. Trips to the doctors' offices are greatly reduced. We now switch from making him eat things to make him strong to letting him have ice cream for dinner. His time with us is limited. The cancer has begun to progress and we are making him as comfortable as possible with medication, oxygen, love, and laughter.
Visitors-We welcome visitors and telephone calls, but Barry isn't always up to either. We are now taking shifts at spending time with him all day. He is too weak to get out of bed by himself and needs help to just sit up. If you would like to visit, we ask that you call the day of. Please call the home number (925) 606-6352 and don't be offended if he doesn't feel like visitors. He spends most of the day laying in or on the bed in a t-shirt and boxer shorts...or less.
What to Say-Something to keep in mind is that Barry doesn't like to talk about cancer! Nobody REALLY likes to talk about cancer. Come prepared with a picture or a story that has fond memories for both of you. Talk about his kids! (That is my favorite topic!) Help him to remember times when he was healthy, strong, and laughed. There is nothing that makes me smile more than to see him smile. His laughs are harder to come by today, but even a giggle is enough to brighten the house for a whole day.
I can't even begin to describe how difficult it is to publish this posting. I have switched out the Relay slide show to the pictures of Dad throughout the years. In closing, I wanted to share a story with you.
I was sitting in the hospital last week when Dad was taking a nap. I was working at the foot of the bed. I noticed that his hands were moving as he slept and as I looked closer, his hands were busy. Not just the usual twitching and jerking, but he was really doing something. When he woke, I asked what he was working on in his sleep and he couldn't remember.
That night I awoke from a dream. In my dream I could see what Dad was dreaming...this was my superhero power...along with being able to see through some glass, but that is a different story. But I could see exactly what he was dreaming about. He was healthy and I was young. He had taken me out fishing on the banks of the Delta and I had gotten my fishing line tangled when I was trying to cast. His hands were so busy trying to untangle my fishing reel. All the while he was looking down at me and smiling. I felt bad that I had tangled the line, but he didn't seem the least bit bothered.
It gives me great comfort in knowing that these are the memories that I have of my Dad; even if fabricated in my own mind. I know that he will always look down at me with a smile and will always be there to untangle whatever mess I make.
I Love You All and Love You Dad!
Glen
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Your Emails
I am a bit behind on your emails, but please feel free to keep them coming. Barry and Shirley really enjoy reading them!
"Wow! What a lot of work and effort went into the Relay for Life walk. I cannot imagine walking in 104 degrees heat. I knew Don and Alice would participate and they both look great. The whole family deserves a lot of credit. I am glad that Barry did get to participate and rally his troops. Congratulations to everyone involved in Team BRAT!"
Barry's Aunt Winnie
"...You don't know how many times that I have thought back to the old days. We all had some great times (and some not so great). Here we are 30 years later and all grown up...Barry I am just so sorry that your health is what has brought me to e-mail you. Why didn't we do this along time ago. Glen and I have always enjoyed your company. I hope that today is a good day for you. I know just getting to say hello has made it a good day for me. Glen and I will have you and your family in our prayers. Please give our love to Glen, Staci and Dustin (not sure they will remember us) and to your wife Shirley. Glen if you would please let your Dad know that I am thinking of him."
Take care,
Connie (Gibson)
"This is Terri from Citibank, I just wanted to say hello and let you know that you and your family are in my prayers. I saw Shirley today and she was kind enough to give me one of your cards. I enjoyed seeing your family pictures. Well young man you take care of yourself and say hello to Shirley for me, it was nice seeing her."
God Bless You
Terri
"Just want you to know I'm pulling for you. I'm sorry to hear about illness, you're on my prayer list. Hope things are going ok. And may I say, from a person who was a caregiver for many years, Shirley if there is any way I can help let me know. I know when someone you love is ill you feel helpless.. the best thing to do is take care of yourself so you can be there for the one you love.
Taking care doesn't mean doing everything yourself.. it means ask for HELP."
I'm here,
Tina Chang (from Trinity)
"Wow! What a lot of work and effort went into the Relay for Life walk. I cannot imagine walking in 104 degrees heat. I knew Don and Alice would participate and they both look great. The whole family deserves a lot of credit. I am glad that Barry did get to participate and rally his troops. Congratulations to everyone involved in Team BRAT!"
Barry's Aunt Winnie
"...You don't know how many times that I have thought back to the old days. We all had some great times (and some not so great). Here we are 30 years later and all grown up...Barry I am just so sorry that your health is what has brought me to e-mail you. Why didn't we do this along time ago. Glen and I have always enjoyed your company. I hope that today is a good day for you. I know just getting to say hello has made it a good day for me. Glen and I will have you and your family in our prayers. Please give our love to Glen, Staci and Dustin (not sure they will remember us) and to your wife Shirley. Glen if you would please let your Dad know that I am thinking of him."
Take care,
Connie (Gibson)
"This is Terri from Citibank, I just wanted to say hello and let you know that you and your family are in my prayers. I saw Shirley today and she was kind enough to give me one of your cards. I enjoyed seeing your family pictures. Well young man you take care of yourself and say hello to Shirley for me, it was nice seeing her."
God Bless You
Terri
"Just want you to know I'm pulling for you. I'm sorry to hear about illness, you're on my prayer list. Hope things are going ok. And may I say, from a person who was a caregiver for many years, Shirley if there is any way I can help let me know. I know when someone you love is ill you feel helpless.. the best thing to do is take care of yourself so you can be there for the one you love.
Taking care doesn't mean doing everything yourself.. it means ask for HELP."
I'm here,
Tina Chang (from Trinity)
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Relay for Life
Sometimes words just aren’t enough when expressing Thanks! This is one of those times. We had an AMAZING weekend at Relay for Life! For me, Relay for Life is not something that will be easily forgotten; partially because I can still barely walk, but mostly because of all of the LOVE from the event. I have added a new slide show to the right side with Relay pictures.
I started Team BRAT in late April and had never attended RFL (Relay for Life) before and had no idea how much I was in for. At the time that we started working on a team, I expected to have a team of about 13 people. We ended up with over 40 people who assisted with the event: 27 registered online, 6 registered day of, and 10+ people who just came to help out. Now THAT is LOVE!
At this point we have raised $8159.18 as a team; my first goal for the team was $3500. We can still accept donations through the month of July, so if you haven’t had a chance to reach out to your friends and family, there is still time. Included in this total is $138 from Sweet Tomatoes from donation night. Livermore Relay for Life started Saturday with just under $147,000. On Sunday morning, Relay for Life closed the event with a total of $191,156.55. That means that during Livermore RFL, we helped raise over $44,000. Congratulations!
What started out as a little distraction for me really turned quite grand! Our booth was awesome and who would have thought that selling the decorations would make more money than ice cream sales…especially when it is 104 degrees (that’s 40c for those of you north). Mom (Cherie) and Staci provided many of the decorations, ice and beverages. While Jenny helped with signs, recruiting volunteers, and provided a tent for us. Keith and I were at the event for the full 24 hours, but most only missed a few hours. Kelly, Josh, Kris, and Scott were killer sales people…”Gatorade! Ice Cold Gatorade!” Steve’s (my step-Dad) aunt and uncle donated 10 cases of water to our team, and I think I drank 3 of them myself. Jim and Bonnie McDonald brought their motorhome out and ran the A/C and generator for about 15 hours so that Barry could chill and have visitors. Grandma Bernice made the cool flags for our campsite, some BRAT hats, and aprons for our money. Grandma Alice and Grandpa Don were the most popular walkers…at 3am people were talking about how cute they are. We even had Edie, (3 time cancer survivor) fly in from Phoenix. The list goes on.
There were several people that just stopped by to say hi and make a donation. Dad really enjoyed every visitor. Even some of the guys that Dad worked with stopped by with their wives to say hello and show their support. It was an absolute joy meeting Jim and Jeff. Jeff shared a great story with me about how Barry dropped everything to help him out of a sticky situation one time. I had heard the story from Dad before, but it was very different hearing it from Jeff. He was so grateful for his expertise, calm attitude, and willingness to help.
If you add up Team BRAT’s time on the track, we put in about 74 hours. There was a lot of sweat and tears shed during that time…thankfully, no blood! Many of us participated in a study that will continue for the next several years in an effort to help with cancer prevention. I had tears in my eyes during the first lap (Survivor lap) and during the last lap that we walked as a team. 18 people walked the last lap in Team BRAT shirts. This was a true demonstration of Love, Support, Friendship, and Generosity.
I know that Relay for Life will be part of my life from this point forward. I signed a pledge where I made a commitment to continuing my fight against cancer. I will continue to give of myself in memory of those who have fought cancer. I will walk to honor those who have won the battle against cancer. I will provide support to those whose lives are affected by cancer. The mantra of RFL is “Celebrate, Remember, Fight Back”. We did all 3 over the weekend.
I can’t seem to say it enough, but thank you all. I thank you for fighting. I thank you for donating. I thank you for walking. I thank you for helping. I thank you for not giving up.
Please keep up hope for each other and keep praying for each other.
Sending you my love!
Glen
I started Team BRAT in late April and had never attended RFL (Relay for Life) before and had no idea how much I was in for. At the time that we started working on a team, I expected to have a team of about 13 people. We ended up with over 40 people who assisted with the event: 27 registered online, 6 registered day of, and 10+ people who just came to help out. Now THAT is LOVE!
At this point we have raised $8159.18 as a team; my first goal for the team was $3500. We can still accept donations through the month of July, so if you haven’t had a chance to reach out to your friends and family, there is still time. Included in this total is $138 from Sweet Tomatoes from donation night. Livermore Relay for Life started Saturday with just under $147,000. On Sunday morning, Relay for Life closed the event with a total of $191,156.55. That means that during Livermore RFL, we helped raise over $44,000. Congratulations!
What started out as a little distraction for me really turned quite grand! Our booth was awesome and who would have thought that selling the decorations would make more money than ice cream sales…especially when it is 104 degrees (that’s 40c for those of you north). Mom (Cherie) and Staci provided many of the decorations, ice and beverages. While Jenny helped with signs, recruiting volunteers, and provided a tent for us. Keith and I were at the event for the full 24 hours, but most only missed a few hours. Kelly, Josh, Kris, and Scott were killer sales people…”Gatorade! Ice Cold Gatorade!” Steve’s (my step-Dad) aunt and uncle donated 10 cases of water to our team, and I think I drank 3 of them myself. Jim and Bonnie McDonald brought their motorhome out and ran the A/C and generator for about 15 hours so that Barry could chill and have visitors. Grandma Bernice made the cool flags for our campsite, some BRAT hats, and aprons for our money. Grandma Alice and Grandpa Don were the most popular walkers…at 3am people were talking about how cute they are. We even had Edie, (3 time cancer survivor) fly in from Phoenix. The list goes on.
There were several people that just stopped by to say hi and make a donation. Dad really enjoyed every visitor. Even some of the guys that Dad worked with stopped by with their wives to say hello and show their support. It was an absolute joy meeting Jim and Jeff. Jeff shared a great story with me about how Barry dropped everything to help him out of a sticky situation one time. I had heard the story from Dad before, but it was very different hearing it from Jeff. He was so grateful for his expertise, calm attitude, and willingness to help.
If you add up Team BRAT’s time on the track, we put in about 74 hours. There was a lot of sweat and tears shed during that time…thankfully, no blood! Many of us participated in a study that will continue for the next several years in an effort to help with cancer prevention. I had tears in my eyes during the first lap (Survivor lap) and during the last lap that we walked as a team. 18 people walked the last lap in Team BRAT shirts. This was a true demonstration of Love, Support, Friendship, and Generosity.
I know that Relay for Life will be part of my life from this point forward. I signed a pledge where I made a commitment to continuing my fight against cancer. I will continue to give of myself in memory of those who have fought cancer. I will walk to honor those who have won the battle against cancer. I will provide support to those whose lives are affected by cancer. The mantra of RFL is “Celebrate, Remember, Fight Back”. We did all 3 over the weekend.
I can’t seem to say it enough, but thank you all. I thank you for fighting. I thank you for donating. I thank you for walking. I thank you for helping. I thank you for not giving up.
Please keep up hope for each other and keep praying for each other.
Sending you my love!
Glen
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
